Bramble Newsletter Issue 1: Desire Paths

Have you ever heard of a Desire Path? It's a path worn into the ground that wasn't originally planned. You'll have paths that cut a hypotenuse across grass fields, paths cut diagonally across corners, paths that take a more scenic route than the carefully paved walkways. I'm convinced we cut desire paths in our own lives.

We may plan a sensible life with a practical career and aim to hit milestones at appropriate points in our lives, but no matter how carefully we plan, those Desire Paths wear bare patches in our planned life routes. 

My partner Andrew, for example, approached his education with the intention of earning a practical, lucrative degree, despite his deep, life-long interest in archaeology. What would he do with a degree in archaeology? No, no, it's better to do something practical. He started out pursuing pre-engineering, but found he did not enjoy his courses. He then shifted his focus numerous times over the next few years to computer science, math, even music. But years and way too much tuition later, he accepted that he needed to follow his passion. Now, he has a PhD in Archaeology and uses his skills working at Yale running the Earth Observation Lab. 

For me personally, the Desire Path etched in my life is art. As a kid, I created art every single day, and if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have answered "artist" without hesitation. When it came time to choose a major, I chose Interior Design/Marketing at my dad's urging. He himself is an artist who chose a creative-adjacent career as an upholsterer and furniture designer. Part of him was never fulfilled, putting his artistic ambitions on the back burner of his life. But he had to support our family of five kids, and he never saw a path forward to do that with art. So he told me I should do the same - pursue something creative, but practical. Having worked with him and the designers he associated with, I agreed that Interior Design made sense for me. Within my first semester, I regretted my decision. I started looking into art schools, and became obsessed with attending SCAD for a degree in Illustration. 

I talked to admissions and poured over course catalogues, but I found that my carefully planned life, where the college credits I had earned in high school and the scholarships I had earned at that particular university didn't line up with that desire. It wasn't practical to pursue a degree in art when I didn't know how I would monetize it, and I would lose so much of what I had already worked towards. So, I stuck it out. I took as many art electives as I could squeeze in, and I ended up adding English as a second major. What would I do after college? I still didn't know, but it would be something creative and something practical. I dipped my toes into journalism and found I hated it. I tried to rise in the ranks of merchandising and display arts, but found that the corporate structures of anywhere inspiring (Anthropologie) were stifling and very difficult to tap into. I then got a job at a nonprofit doing marketing and event planning, which allowed me to learn Adobe programs and work with screen printers, graphic designers, and mural artists as the point person. I did a lot of creative work, but I felt very stretched thin by my duties and found many of my tasks, like formatting annual reports, tedious. 

Next I moved to the library world. There was so much I loved there, and I still have a deep love for libraries. I spent 5.5 years at that library, starting as a youth programmer and marketing manager, which both had lots of room for creativity. Eventually I worked my way to Adult Librarian, which was less creative, but gave me a lot of discipline. My energy was all taken by that job, though, and I didn't create a lot of personal art during that stage of my life. At one point, I took a trip to Paris, and that awoke an artistic part of me again that longed to draw and paint and make that a bigger part of my life. Then came the pandemic, and two years into that dismal period, I gave birth to my daughter, and my heart failed. When my baby was 4 days old, I was life-flighted to a hospital in another state, and everything turned upside down for a while. During that time, I left my job and we moved across the country, and then Andrew was offered his job at Yale. 

Catching up to where we are now, we've been in New Haven less than two years, and I've been working at Pebbles (a magical, heirloom toy store) as a book buyer, merchandiser, and storytime person/programmer. It has so much I loved about the library, but it's also part time, which gives me more energy and mental space to focus on making my art career a reality. 

During the winter solstice, I wrote out goals and burned one every day. The one I was left with would be the one that was my duty to bring about. Can you guess what that was? 2026 is the year I dedicate to being an artist, to being an art student, to finding my illustration style, and trying to make a name for myself. I've finally accepted my Desire Path, and I've mostly left the paved path behind me. I'm proud of how much I've accomplished this year, and I have no plans of losing momentum.